Learning to Love Insomnia

There has been a shift.

Instead of fighting this insomnia that has overtaken me, I have embraced it, and am not discriminating between 3pm and 3am. Rather, I choose to enjoy a tasty beverage and Flight of the Conchords. Still brilliant after all this time. The question remains though, will the second season live up to the genius that was the premiere season? (By the way, what the hell is Lisa doing during "A Kiss is Not a Contract"? Is she stoned?) AND, side note, the actress who played Felicia is in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall".  Which was a lovely movie FYI.

I am taking a lesson in simplification. Though I recognize that when I am in a frenzy of activity, from rehearsals, social engagements and various projects, I gain a momentum that lends more to my mental health than I would like to admit, other more pressing obligations have come to the front lines, demanding my attention and energy. There is a jealousy present to be sure, when seeing others close to me living the life I had become so dependents on, yet an odd satisfaction knowing that I am growing and moving forward. Accepting a responsibility I have to myself is horribly grown-up and I guess there is something to be said for that, but that does not make it any less overwhelming and scary. I have discovered a clarity over the last few months that seemed out of reach for a very long time, and with that clarity comes the need to destroy the walls I had reinforced with such intensity and  care. Both excitement and terror accompany each waking moment, but the awareness of change promotes the optimism necessary to maintain my nerve.

Though I miss having Josh here, there is something to be said for having an empty apartment to myself again. As I begin my work on "Cute Girl", the privacy I have available to me is greatly appreciated. I look forward to pushing myself to the limit for a piece that will surly test my boundaries, while also allowing the terror of the intimacy this requires to keep me on the edge of  raw creation.

Let me offer this question up for those of you still reading. Is New Years Eve not a "couples holiday" for the most part? I'm trying to settle an argument. With myself.

Awake.

I awake at 7:15 to the sound of a chainsaw ripping its way through the innocent tree out my window. What kind of hotel hires a man to do that at this ungodly hour? Oh. The Economy Inn in Dresden, TN. Right. This is what you get for $50 a night, even if you do flirt with the little man at the front desk for the AAA discount. Lying in bed for 20 minutes, I ponder if it is worth it to try to roll over and try to sleep through the bloody murder of my leafy friend, or if I should brave the freezing cold world outside my scratchy sheets and lumpy pillows. Eventually I choose the latter, to continue my fight with YouTube over uploading videos, and enjoying some microwavable oatmeal that I stole from the Days Inn two weeks ago when I was lucky enough to enjoy a continental breakfast. As my last week on tour begins, I feel as if there should be some wisdom I have attained and can now share with the bright and shiny world........ I'm sure there is, but all I can do at this point is to gaze longingly out the window at my decapitated friend and wonder just how hard I would have to hit the asshole with the chainsaw to get him to shut up.

Counting down

7 days until home

5 days until Chicago

5 days of shows

3 days till John

17 more shows

8 more schools

2 more hotels

wow.

Is Your Cat Trying to Kill You?

http://www.catswhothrowupgrass.com/kill.php

Nashville Gone Wild

I have now tried about 5 times to write a witty opening to this entry, setting up the events of last night, and I don't seem to be able to. I blame the cheap ass shitty canned beer I was drinking last night, but hey, it was free so I didn't complain at the time. 

Nashville is quite beautiful, along the river front (the Tennessee River I believe) you could not go 10 feet without running into a street musician with a guitar, fiddle, or some variation of the two. Live music everywhere you turn. While Beale Street was home of the blues, country and bluegrass were everywhere. Walking down the streets line with bars, music streaming out of everyone, it was clear that this was geared primarily for tourists, rather than locals. I purchased a $2.50 can of PBR, and settled in at Layla's Country and Bluegrass Inn. The band was rockin' and the lead singer looked like a cross between Axel Rose, the lead singer form Korn and Jerry Lee Lewis circa 1966. He put on a hell of a show, hanging from the ceiling, playing the keyboard blindfolded, and generally behaving like he was on a whole lot of uppers. 

Moving down the street, most other clubs seemed to require a cover, so we moved on to a place called Printer's Ally, which was literally a tiny little alley that consisted of a guitar bar, a karaoke bar, a hotdog stand, a "haunted" room where some guy was stabbed to death back in the 20's, and a strip club that boasted naked karaoke. Big sign out front said NUDE KARAOKE. We chose the guitar bar, beer and shots were consumed, and enjoyed the band who specialized in Journey, Air Supply, and REO Speedwagon. I continued to be intrigued by the idea of naked karaoke, did not have any trouble getting Nick and Steve to consider heading over in that direction. Ladies got in free, but the boys shelled out $15. No liquor was served, but we were able to purchase canned Bud Light in the alley, and bring it inside. Once seated we discovered that the karaoke did not actually begin until the after hours party, which was at 3am. And after hours, there was no more nakedness. At first I felt very let down, but then the leggy blond on stage threw off her g-string and broke out into Mariah Carey's  "Always Be My Baby". 

From that point on we continued to make friends with many of the girls, heard some crazy stories about "the biz", even hit the stage for karaoke at 3am, politely declining the bouncers request to take off my shirt. And all other details I will leave for another time. Some things have to be told in person to have full effect.

This trip will without a doubt leave me with enough stories to ALWAYS win Never Have I Ever.

And that makes all the difference.

VIDEO BLOG!!

No one every said 3rd grade was easy.

Chatting with some 3rd graders after the show:

Me: What happened to you? Why are you on crutches?

Kid: Broke my foot.

Me:How?

Kid: Fell off the see-saw.

Kid 2: I broke my arm riding a dirt bike.

Kid 3: I fell on a see-saw too but I didn't break my arm.

Kid 4: I Broke my leg last year.

Me: How did you do do that?

Kid 4: I jumped off the top of my closet. I landed wrong.

Me: .......... ah.

Girl: I have a brain tumor

Me: (shocked silence)

Kid 3: I have a blood blister. (shows me)

Me: Nice.

update

Because of this fast moving stomach flu in the schools, the district has shut all schools to disinfect all classrooms and buses. NO SHOWS TOMORROW AFTERNOON! YAY!

And that memorable sign is now gone, replaced with a ReMax ad.

Ahhhhh progress.

Yes we can thank Cody Gildone for sunglasses and the next 13 days

As I stroll down the TVA dam in Savannah, Tennessee, I reflect back on the last 48 hours.

There remains a certain sadness in me that I was not able to spend Tuesday night back home at what I am certain was a wonderful explosion of celebration

 and joy, but this is clearly not the important issue. Though I was in a ruby red state watching the results pour in, it was impossible to deny the electricity in the air as this amazing man was elected to the presidency. Watching CNN, Fox news, MSNBC, it did not matter where the information was coming from. I continue to be overwhelmed by the notion that I am am alive to see this. Never in my 25 years have I been so proud of my country. Not that I am not patriotic, but that message of Hope speaks to me on a very emotional level. As every newscaster broke the news, it was impossible to contain myself, I alternated between laughter, tears, and jumping around in joy. There are not many days that I know I will remember

 for the rest of my life, but this is one that I know I will. Even now, 2 days later, just catching a glimpse of the paper, or seeing an interview on the View, I tear up, (was not planning on sharing that). 

Of course there are those around me who so clearly did not feel this way. I had dinner on Tuesday at the bar at Ruby Tuesday, and somehow found myself surrounded by Obama supporters, even in South Haven MS. We had some good conversations, but I chose to see the final hours in my hotel room, giving me more room to jump around. Next morning, I had an interesting discussion with the front desk attendant at the hotel, who asked me if I was happy with the outcome, clearly not feeling that was herself. But she did offer her opinion that though he did not receive her vote, she had hopes that he could turn our country around. Morning talk radio over here has been pretty brutal, but I have not really paid attention. No need. 

But it was hard to ignore

the sign I passed yesterday, which I have posted here. All this no longer bothers me though, because at long last HOPE IS EVERYWHERE. There has been a shift.....

(But c'mon California! You're my home state, and I love ya, I really do, but passing Measure 8?? WTF?)

This town stinks. Literally. I think there must be a paper mill close by because it smells like Albany, OR. I know a few of you know what I am talking about. Yuck. Or it could just be the smell of sickness. Walking into the school this 

morning to find out that 30+ kids were home sick with the stomach flu, and about 7 teachers as well. Half the remaining teachers were wearing latex gloves, and were armed with a can of Lysol, because I am sure half of the kids who were there, were sick as well, just not yet sick enough to stay home. Of course, stupid me, I picked the volunteer who ended up being super sick already. Gross. I bathed myself in Purell as soon as I got in the car. Any thoughts I may have been having recently about possibly going into elementary education were squashed right there, and now I have the pleasure of going to another school this afternoon that started this epidemic. Awesome. But all sickness, and bratty kids aside, I keep thinking about Cody Gildone. Cody Gildone was a local actress in Sacramento, CA who I saw

 in multiple shows like Into the Woods, Carnival, and Guys and Dolls, and I think that she was a huge factor in my ambition to be an actor. I remember looking up to her, wanting to write to her, and finally meeting her when I auditioned to be in a production on Fiddler on the Roof. She gave me a few words of advice and I was totally star struck, and

 have never forgotten the impact she had on me. Now, I can see the impact I am having on some of these kids, the girls in particular, and it is quite moving. As much as I may bitch and moan about the challenges that go along with this job, it gives me a sense of pride to know that I have inspired even a few. This is a part of the perspective that I was seeking so fervently this summer. And hey, it only took 6 weeks in the deep south .

I have officially lost my FOURTH pair of sunglasses. I give up. I will not buy another pair. This is absurd. Although I can be thankful that is all I have lost so far. All chargers accounted for, same with clothing, jewelry, books, and all my future Christmas presents. Yes, I have started making my Christmas presents already, out of sheer boredom. Let me tell you, I get some strange looks doing something "artsy" in some of these towns. Hilarious.

I think I'm headed to Nashville this weekend, hoping to hear some great music, drink some tasty beverages, ideally beer.

And I think that is the only other thing in Tennessee that I wanted to see. There was the option of going to egg the RT headquarters, but I let that slide. Too much work.

I have been having the STRANGEST dreams lately. I woke up no less than 3 times last night after having some very upsetting dreams. one about Obama, one about lesbians, and I think one about my dad. I am fairly sure they were unrelated.

John will be here in less than 2 weeks, I am very very excited. We've been apart now almost as long as we've been together. Lame. We'll be able to go down to Beale Street for a night, then I'll drag him around the last two days of shows before we head to Chicago for a couple days. I'm hoping to get into a Second City show while we're there before heading back in time for Quickies which I can't wait to see. All the shows will be great I know, but to see my Dad on stage again will be so exciting.... :) Now to get Mom to audition for a FSP show this spring.... (plotting quietly. well, not so quietly since she will read this eventually. hi mom.)

 

I was wearing my Michigan State sweatshirt this morning at breakfast and some guy asked me if Michigan was in the US. I really hope he was joking. But you really never know around here.

In other news, my dear Fiyero has found a wonderful new home, and if very happy to have a friend to keep him company. (Thank you Chris, you are an angel!) This was an incredibly difficult thing for me to do, but I know that it was the best thing to do for him, and that is really what is important. Also, I may have found a room mate for Jan-June. My cousin Rachel is looking for a 6 month vacation from LA, and is thinking of coming out here to see what the theatre scene is all about in the "real world". This would be so perfect, so fingers crossed that it works out.

Ok. I am all blogged out.

(video blog pending. my connection is not fast enough here to load anything.)

Day 34: Halloween, How I Met Your Mother, and My Life as a Convict

I have heard many of your stories about how ya'll spent your Halloween, and they have ranged from a Big Lebowski party, taking drunk girls home, passing around bottles of Jag, house parties with friends and bar hopping through uptown. But I can guarantee that my experience here in Tupelo Mississippi is completely different. I have been asked several times if I enjoyed myself, had fun, etc, etc, and I still struggle with my answer. Allow me to present the evidence.

Not wanting to be stuck in a hotel room, drinking beer and watching cable, while the rest of the fun loving world is out getting crazy on Halloween, I purchased a Wal Mart costume (yes, I am a but ashamed) and dragged Steve out to the nearest bar I could find which boasted a costume party, and rock and roll music. Arriving at Fusion 205, making our way past the linen napkins and wine glasses in the dining room, we found the patio outside, which was decked out in Jag gear, orange lights and your typical "scary" decorations. The guests consisted mainly of the following:

• Insane Clown Posse
• Devils
• Hookers
• St Pauli Girls
• Cops
• anything army
• Convicts (all wearing real uniforms from when they did time. Well, except for me)
• Anything goth
• Jolly Green Giant
• Fear and Loathing (super awesome BTW)
• There was one scrawny guy dressed as "the gimp" being dragged around on a chain

So. Finding a table, getting beer, waiting for the music to start, I start to get comments on my costume, " Hey that was my number when I was locked up too." AND THEY ARE TOTALLY SERIOUS. Yeah. So then the so called rock and roll music starts, and hey, it's metal. Hardcore metal. So more beers are needed, as are shots, (making friends with the bartender got me free whiskey, damn I am good.) By this point my friend Steve is quite drunk, and determined to make friends with people, but no one seems to be having it. Even when he starts just yelling after people to get their attention, at which point, I decide that I really do not want to let him piss off he wrong army dude who only has 5 teeth, but a mean right hook. So I bit the bullet and decided to use my Neil Patrick Harris card. Now, for those of you who don't watch How I Met You Mother, NPH's character plays this fun game in bars with his friend Ted. It's called, "Have you met Ted?", at which time, Ted is introduced to whichever lucky lady has been approached. So, I chose to play my personal variation, " Have ya'll met Steve?". I made my way through the entire patio, and then in through the bar introducing Steve to EVERY person I could possibly find, and in the process, I also got to meet EVERY person. After about 60 people, we met Nicki. Nicki was a very sweet very drunk girl who was trying to find someone to buy her a beer, because her boyfriend (who ended up being before mentioned "gimp", and the drummer of the band "dead set") was broke. I learned that she had only recently been released from prison in April, and was now making her living as a stripper. She decided that we were now to be best buds, and asked for my phone number and how I had such great boobs. Sigh. After attempting to use my game to get Nicky a beer, I gave up and gave her one of mine, since there seemed to be an endless supply being bought for me by Steve, a very drunk Steve. After this, there was more meeting people, more stories of prison release, and I met Dot, and adorable Jack Russel Terrier. It was at this point I realized that I had eaten next to nothing all day but cold meds. So Steve and I, after promising our 150 new friends we would be back, made a run to Wendy's, which made me realize, um, I don't want to be driving right now. The night would end with a beer run to the store, after warding off the advances of a very persistent Sergeant at the bar who wanted to have a "night cap" at his buddy Chuck's place across the street. 

Perhaps my favorite part of this crazy night, was waking up this morning and listening to all the drunken voice mails, and ready all the text messages I collected while out and about. But I must say, at what other juncture would I be able to boast of a night with 3 convicts, 2 metal band,  a stripper, and 150 new friends? Even the CC Club can't offer that, now can it.

There are no words

Church sign across from a school. Jumpertown, MS.

You know you're in Mississippi when......

The morning radio show is called  "Rick and Bubba"

All political discussions on the radio...., wait there are no discussions. This is a neon red state.

5 country stations, 2 soft rock stations, 3 christian stations, and one R&B station.

The ratio of McCain/Obama lawn signs are 10/1

There is a "lunch plate special" at every diner in town.

I have met 3 mayors who have come to these schools to introduce the show. AND THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME.

Tupelo is considered a "city"

When doing warm ups before a show, the P.E. teacher asks if you are having a seizure. 

(true story)

There is a Wal Mart 5 miles in either direction.

As the site of Elvis' birth and childhood home, there is a crazy lady talking and laughing to herself, or maybe to a leaf she thought was Elvis..... one of the two.

Every sponsor I meet that introduces our show feels the need to explain the genius behind when he was in a school play back in 1974 and changed the one line he had to get a laugh. The best one was when this guy explained to me what a dress rehearsal was. I heart people.

There is a pecan store named after a 1970's KKK enthusiast.

Another Add Your Own Caption!

Day 30: Highlights of the Day

• I found Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle in a local grocery store here is Louisville, MS for $5! How cool is that?
  

• I also figured out the perfect touring dinner: microwaveable rice in a bag+can of pinto beans+microwave= $3 delicious dinner
  

• Our show will be featured on the local CBS news tonight. Kinda a big deal. People know me.

• I had two 12 year old boys offer to come with me on the rest of the tour as my groupies and carry the set for me. Super cute.

Alternative to a Hate Ode

Patty O'tomtom's bitch cousin Molly needs to be thrown out the window. She has no idea where she is going half the time, and lies about where roads are. My original plan was to write a hate ode cursing her very name, but that would take far too much energy, and she does not deserve that much of my attention. Come to think of it, even this post is giving her the power.....

Crafty wench.

Back on the Road

After a delayed flight in Minneapolis, a delayed flight on Chicago, I finally got back to Memphis sometime after midnight, drove (ok, slept, while steve drove) 90 minutes to our hotel. Very classy, the hot water got stuck on at 2am in the shower.

I had a wonderful weekend, I don't know that I would have stayed sane another month if I had not been able to go home and recharge. Everything I did, and everyone I saw reminded me just how lucky I am to live in this city and be surrounded by such amazing people. Though sad to leave again after just a quick 60 hour whirlwind visit, and flying off with tears streaming down my face, I think that now that I have a solid understanding of this process (touring), and can get even more out of it in this last half of my adventure. 

There are so many things that are rapidly changing in my absence, and to be away while all these transitions must evolve is stressful, but somehow at the some time I am grateful. It seems that I must find my cat a new home. Being alone in my apartment is just making him so unhappy, and I just can not stand the thought of putting him through another month of this, and even when I am back for good, those transitions I have mentioned will sadly not leave me much choice but to give him a better home with people who will be available to give him adoring attention and love. This, among so very many other things that have been brought to my attention over the past week, this more saddening then some of the wonderful revelations that I experienced over the past few days. Believe me, there were PLENTY of those...... one in particular that sticks in my mind. But that's a story for another day. :)

My goal for this week is to figure out how to record a video blog entry, Dr Horrible style......

Wait for it......

attempting to post via blackberry

Home

Home for the weekend.

Call me!

I miss you!

xoxoxoxo

Mystery Solved!

Duh. Sometimes I am just the brightest bulb in the box. The entire time I have been on the road, every hotel key I get stops working after about the first day, and it's been super annoying. I have had no clue why the hell I was cursed like this, until this afternoon when I realized I am just stupid and have been putting all the keys in my wallet, which has a MAGNET in it. Sigh.

I Heart Pundit Kitchen

Day 23: Is laughter considered a tic?

I have developed a tic. Aside from a selective drawl, and the repeated use of "Yes, ma'am", and "No, Sir", I have also begun scrunching my nose periodically. I believe this is something I have used as a character choice, that is now slowly taking over my day to day mannerisms. Not as cute or endearing as Samantha on Bewitched, but more annoying to be sure. On the other hand, being surrounded by so many children, all laughing and having the time of their lives, the joy is contagious, and I am finding myself laughing along with some of them in a way that I have not experienced since I was perhaps in the same age group. It feels amazing. I wonder how I will adapt to being around "grownups" again......

Day 21: Oh, Omar.

Ah, Beale Street. I was very excited to return for round 2, especially since A: I did not have to drive, B: I did not have to get up early the next day, and C: I knew what to expect, and so was even more excited to go get crazy. We met up with Nick and Aimee, and headed out to the liquor store across the street called 3 Habits (beer, cigarettes and porn), and the store next to it called The 4th Habit, which sold liquor. Walking in, the bottles were on shelves along the wall, encased in glass. It was like going into a booze zoo, where you got your brown bag passed to you through a drawer. Awesome. We decided to have the front desk call us a cab, and we waited for a white van, driven by someone named Omar. ( I think he was dating the front desk girl so we got tons of information about him which I found humorous.) He arrived, and we were instantly charmed by him, and chatted non stop from the hotel to Beale. I took his number, and we promised to call him when we were ready to head back to the hotel. Had a great dinner, and started the drinking. First stop: the shack that sold 32 oz beers for $4. $4!! Went back to Coyote Ugly, dedicated to getting Aimee up on the bar, and after 2 beers, a couple swigs from my flask of Jack, I got my wish. We danced like rockstars, and were then stuck up there for 20 minutes, because there were girls on either sides of us doing body shots.  From there it was a marathon of drinking, dancing, and drunk dialing. Just wonderful wonderful wonderful. 

Long story short, we eventually could drink no more, and called Omar for our ride. We were hanging out on the corner waiting for our big white van to show up, so when we were finally saw it we jumped in hugging and high fiving Omar, chatting on and on about I don't even know what. The entire time we were driving home I found it strange that Omar's cell kept calling me, but I was really not caring. But by the time we pulled into the paring lot it clicked. This was not Omar. This was not our big white van. We had just made total asses of ourselves to some random cab driver, and confirmed the drunk tourist theory: drunk tourists are dumb. 

The rest of the night, not so fun, nor was the morning. So finally crawling out of bed at 2pm, I think I was still a bit drunk, but at least I felt slightly human. Pretty low key day today, went to the Rock and Soul Museum, which was amazing and beautiful and very moving. I learned that Jerry Lee Lewis married his 13 year old cousin, and find that very funny. I also learned that the Mississippi river looks the same down here as it does back home, but it was neat to see the ferry boats carting all the drunk middle aged people around because they couldn't hack it on Beale. The boys wanted to do Beale again, but both Aimee and I were all worn out, in need of some R and R, more specifically alone R and R. 

Driving to Mississippi tomorrow, though I love Memphis, I am looking forward to seeing some more of the south.

Add Your Own Caption:

Day 19: Adventure at the Scary Mall of Memphis

Went to the scariest mall in the entire world yesterday. If I remember correctly I went in to find ear bud headphones, and walked out with my heart racing, grateful for mall security. Ok, so it wasn't actually that scary, but I was not about to hang out there by myself after dark. Now I know about half of you reading this are shaking your heads because almost all of you have at one point or five told me to "be careful", and I assure you I have. But I was not aware how crappy the neighborhood around me is. After spending a whopping $.75 on my dinner at Aldi, which was a terrible idea, by the way..... very gross chicken, corn and potatoes, I pulled into a mall parking lot, and walked inside. This was my experience: walked by kiosk after kiosk of indian salesman trying to sell me "gold bling", store after store of spray painted t shirts, tacky shoes, and horrible "couture". I realized as I rounded the corner that the lights we very dim, I was the only female in sight, and also the whitest. The only two stores I recognized were Rainbow (super classy) and Sears. I ducked into Rainbow, and found myself in female company, and decided to buy new sunglasses, since I have lost a total of 2 pairs so far this trip. Cashless, I paid with a credit card, which let to the discovery that their machine was down. Long story short, they tried to take an imprint of my card, and after watching them fail for about 20 minutes, I calmly showed them how to do it. Though my impulse was to get the hell out of this empty shell of a mall, I decided to trek it over to Sears to get some socks. Mission accomplished, I briskly walked back to the front doors, dismayed at how zealous the vendors were to sell me bling, but grateful that mall security was present as I walked through the darkness to my car. Once back at the hotel I happily went for a swim in the heated pool, watched the debate (I swear if McCain said Joe one more time I was going to throw something), and crawled into my very very comfortable bed with 4, yes, 4 pillows!

Oh, and BTW. Earlier this week I went for lunch at McDonalds and the had crack there. (For those of you who don't know, crack is the touch screen video game, with my personal favorite PhotoHunt) And the best part: It was totally free. I gotta say it was the nicest McDonalds I have ever seen: flat screen TV, high tops, jukebox, vases with flowers. I was impressed by fast food. First time for everything.

Day 18: Missed chances, nuns, and that DAMN GINGER KID.

I got a call this morning from the Science Museum of Minnesota, asking me to come in for an audition for a job acting/presenting for them starting in the spring. Paid day job acting? Score!  Of course, the audition would be on a day when I am still on the road. BOO. Yet another missed opportunity I will let go after a few days of pouting. Ah well, they said they will try to reschedule but I didn't get the impression it would be anytime soon.

I saw nuns! The second show was at a catholic school, and I got to chat with nuns. I don't think I'd ever done that before. They were super cute and very nice. And I got to sit and "talk" with a bunch of 1st graders between shows. I say "talk", because it was more like an inquisition. "Are you going home now?" "Do you two live together?" "How does he change so fast?" "Why do the big kids get a different show?" "Why didn't you change costumes?" "Do we get to learn more when we're older" "Do you know my name?" " Where's your car?" etc.. Eventually I just had to walk away.

Ok. Now I have had a chance to calm down since this morning, so I think I can rationally discuss the horror that was the first show of the day. Private school, super nice teacher who let us in, gave us sweet tea, bottled water.... Kids: MONSTERS. They just screamed things out the whole time would not shut up, would not listen. Would not sit still, there was a kid in the aisle who was constantly moving around, I almost stepped on him 3 times. But the worst was this damn redheaded kid in the front row, who kept screaming. "BATTERIES! YOU FORGOT ABOUT BATTERIES!!!" " BATTERIES! YOU FORGOT ABOUT BATTERIES!!" "BATTERIES! YOU FORGOT ABOUT BATTERIES!!" Over and over and over and over and over. I was so pissed by the end of the show, I raced through the wrap up, and it took everything in my power not to drop kick that damn ginger kid. Once backstage, I was fuming. Granted, every other show has been great, and I knew this would happen eventually, but damn it he made me mad!

But now, I am zen, I have a pool about 5 feet from where I sit, I get to go to Beale Street again this weekend (going to be AMAZING AGAIN!), and I fly home for a quick visit in 9 days!

Day 17: 3.5

I watched 3.5 movies yesterday.

1) Blindness, which had THREE actors in it from Slings and Arrows (Ellen, Anna and Darren Nicols)

2) about a half hour of a horrible kids movie with talking little dogs, I dare not speak it's name.

3) Burn After Reading. I heart the Cohen Bros.

and

4) Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. Yes the soundtrack is sweet.

That's really all I got for now.

Day 16: a day off. again.

Today is Columbus Day, so no school in session in the great state of Tennessee. I'm back in Memphis after a fun filled weekend in Lynchberg where I was able to begin my love affair with Jack Daniels. Not only was the tour informative and fun, but the bottle that we drank afterwards was even more enjoyable. We had the most amazing tour guide named Ron, who had legendary facial hair, and he made it even better.  Sadly, we had to drive a good half hour before we could find a liquor store (Lynchberg being a dry town), but we found a good place to call it a night, enjoy the whiskey, and even tried "shot's in a bag". Seriously. Like a zip lock bag filled with a shot. It was actually kind of impressive.

After a late checkout the next morning, (my poor room mate was hurting pretty bad), we had lunch and continued on our way back to Memphis. It was a beautiful drive, passed the town that claimed to be the birthplace of Fred Thompson, had a HUGE picture up of him as you enter their city limits. I began to feel the strain of endlessly driving, unpacking, packing, driving as I neared the 4th hour of this leg of my journey, but then was given something else to stress over when I was pulled over for going 71 in a 45mph zone. Shit. Thankfully, the cop was super nice, I don't think it hurt that I told her I worked for a Children's Theatre, and she let me go. After that all I wanted to do was get to the hotel and crawl into a ball in the corner. All this downtime is much more stressful then I ever imagined it could be. The weekdays go by fast with show after show, but these weekends, being on a limited budget, are starting to get to me. So my solution is to spend this entire day at a movie theatre, catching up on all the movies I have not seen. Aaron would be proud.

Perhaps a portion of this stress is coming from the changes at home, Josh moving out, Molly moving in, then then all that changing again in May when I decide what to do next.  There have been so many questions raised I just don't know where to start answering them all. I have lost a certain amount of control in my life as I have known it, and it's becoming more and more difficult to accept. Or maybe I'm just having an off day.

Regardless, I am still loving Memphis, it's just beautiful in the fall, and I have met some incredible people with some incredible stories. I am grateful that now they will become a part of my story. Everyday, there are these new worlds that are opened up for me and I try to cling to the memory, as obscure as it may be, not wanting to forget a moment of this, but there is just so much to take in.

Day 14: Jack

Awesome day the the Jack Daniel's distillery. Celebrating by drinking Jack. Can't elaborate any more at this time. Pictures on facebook.

Day 13: W. Falkner at rest

Ripley, Mississippi was amazing. Tiny town with tons of heart, everyone was so welcoming, the school this morning was headed up by the sweetest woman ever. She talked with us for 20 minutes after the show, gave us a case of bottled water, and hugged us about 3 times as we made out way out of the auditorium. Just the sweetest people ever.

Afterwards, before heading out to meet up with the other troupe, we went to the Ripley graveyard where William Falkner is buried. It was a beautiful monument, all of the old stones were so interesting to explore, strange that it was placed right behind the Pizza Hut. It was a very peaceful way to spend the morning. After a classic bbq lunch at Chicken Supreme, the local eatery, I slept the entire way to Pundeski, TN where we were to meet up with Nick and Aimee, the other troupe touring the Energized Guyz. It's great to compare stories about how different out experiences have been, and I must admit I am grateful to have a little more estrogen around. The only thing of note here is a KKK plaque that was placed when it was formed here in a law office, that has been flipped over as a "statement". Small town, small minds were very noticeable at the restaurant across the street, it was a little uncomfortable to overhear some of the conversations. Up till now I have not run into this, but now I can see how this can be like an entirely different country, as opposed to a different part of the country. (BTW, I tried fried green tomatoes, actually pretty damn good.)

Tomorrow I get to tour the Jack Daniel's distillery and see what that's all about, though it is in a dry town, we should have a good time. I have earned a three day weekend to rest, and play, and enjoy sleeping in, finally. 

Day 12: Writing in Mississippi

I finally started working more on my show, feels really good to get going on that again. Especially since it is being planned for next season! Eek! I find that super exciting and super terrifying all at the same time. I am trying to remember all the stupid interview questions I used to get, so if any of my loyal readers have any questions they remember getting or giving, I would love to hear your experiences. 

After a hour and a half drive across the state line, I am now in Ripley Mississippi for the night. SMALL TOWN USA. Wow. Everyone seems to know everyone, they all want to talk to you, invite you to football games, church, and tell you about the best restaurant in town where everything is under $8 (and they have an ice cream bar).  Exciting thing though, is that Faulkner is buried only a few miles from where I am sitting, so I hope to go see that before I head out. Only two shows tomorrow morning and then onward to the Jack Daniels distillery. The plan is to meet up with another troupe that's touring through Tennessee, and spend the weekend with them, which should be fun. There's an entirely different dynamic with 4 people compared to only 2, and it should be nice to shake it up a bit.

I will be coming back for the weekend of the 24th, just for a couple of days and I would love to see ya'll at Lyle's or somewhere if I could. (Yes, yes, I did just say ya'll. Bite me)

Day 11: Quote of the Day

"Are you going to do puppets?"

"No, they're actors."

"Actors are better than puppets."

I offer this up for discussion. 

Day 10: Southern storms and broken hearts

Beautiful rain, thunder and lightning this morning, is still raging as I type. Reminds me of Oregon.

Horrible lunch at Sonic, so for those of you back home who mope and complain that we don't have one nearby, trust me, it's just like Dairy Queen.

Slight elbow injury after third show today, nothing a little tylenol won't fix though.

Going to enjoy this wet afternoon, and solve life's mysteries.

Day 9: Civil Rights with a side of gravy please.

Visiting the Civil Rights Museum was very humbling. The hotel where Martin Luther King was shot and killed has been turned into a pathway through history, and a very moving one at that. From the birth and abolishment of slavery, through world wars, segregation, the Nine, Rosa Parks, Malcom X, MLK, every room, every slice of time was presented with such brutal honesty, it became painful to let it all in. So many people, believing so strongly in something that everyone around them took great pains to rebel against. I passed visitors on my way through who became so overwhelmed by it all, that they would excuse themselves and rush outside for some air. Tears were even present as we all exited the auditorium after seeing a short documentary on the history of the fight for civil rights in America.

Outside the museum, you could clearly see the window where James Earl Ray was positioned as he fired the fatal show that brought down a hero.

Also outside, was a woman named Jacqueline Smith, once a maid and resident of the Lorraine Hotel, now sits outside the museum, encouraging a boycott because "the museum is a developmental scam, used to gentrify a poor, black, working-class neighborhood, so that spectators can cash in." This woman has been peacefully protesting at her booth across the hotel for 20 years, and 60 days, and seems to be an attraction as much as the site itself.

     www.fulfullthedream.net

At dinner, I encountered the most bossy server of all time. The is the conversation I overheard:

Server: And for you sir?

Young Guy: I'll have the chicken and dumplings please, with a side of gravy.

Server: You don't want gravy

Young Guy: Excuse me?

Server: You ever had chicken and dumplings?

Young Guy: Um....no

Server: It's all soupy. You don't want gravy. You get three vegetables or sides.

Young Guy: Ok, I'll have a corn muffin...um....

Server: Green beans.

Young Guy: Yeah, OK, grean beans

Server: Mashed potatos?

Young Guy: Yes, please

Server: You want gravy on THOSE?

Young Guy: Yes, ma'am

Server: You get one more. Mac and Cheese? Fried Okra?

Young Guy: (stuttering slightly) Fries?

Server: Boy, you already got mashed potatos, that's too much startch, how bout corn.

Young Guy (sweating): Yeah, ok, corn.

Server: Alright. (walks away)

Young Guy: Ok, I want to leave now. (and continues to look uncomfortable for the rest of the meal)

Side note: MY meal was served with a BOWL of gravy. Not a side, or a cup, a BOWL. It's official, I'm in the south.

Day 8: ......lazy sunday

I found nature in the city, finally. I made my way to a park, where I could hike around, take in the beautiful sight of the leaves changing, enjoy the crisp smells of fall. These few hours of solitude and self reflection were much needed. The highlight was the very tall gentleman walking around with his headphones on singing at the top of his lungs. To be honest, I would have been doing the same thing, were I not saving my voice to get through the next week of shows.

I found my thoughts drifting back in time to other fall afternoons of note. And revisiting a certain sadness while thinking about events and people long gone from my life. Fall always seems to bring out this sentimentality in me, while still being comfortable and soothing at the same time. I love the balance. That shall be my word of the week. Balance.

Day 7: Graceland AKA the wall

Not so impressed with Graceland. Granted I did no go inside cause I don't care enough about Elvis to pay $30 for the "cheap" tour. The VIP tour was going for $70. But I walked around it, and in all the gift shops and such. Imagine Disneyland. Now take away Mickey Mouse and insert Elvis. That's what it was like. Shirts, mugs, golf balls, socks, posters, CDs, DVDs, VHS tapes, you name it, they had it. But there was a wall outside the grounds that was covered in graffiti and note from all over the world, which was neat to look over.

Speaking of walls, I just hit one about 10 minutes ago. I don't know how to explain it, but I think a part of me has shut down to protect myself from.....well, something. I don't even know exactly what it is. But a sense of optimism has been lost, which leaves me a little hardened, but perhaps in the long run it will be for the best. It all fairness, I can't say I am surprised, I actually expected this to hit a lot sooner......

I leave you tonight with an exchange we had with a homeless man in Chicago:

Man: I bet you anything I can tell you where you got those sunglasses.

Steve: Ok, where?

Man: On your face. Oh snap! Can you spare some change?

Day 6: Beale Street: Blues, Beer and Coyote's

I must preface this by saying that Beale Street is totally amazing in every way, and I order every one of you to go there as soon as you are able.

Picture this is if you will. Three traffic free blocks of cobblestone street, with bar after bar, and club after club with neon signs inviting you into a party of blues, bbq, beer and dancing. And between each of these 40 hopping joints, are street bands, each with their own blend of R&B, blues and a dancing crowd, all with a beer in hand. As you walk down the street, marveling at the abundance of energy pulsing through the crowds as they wander from place to place, you see a group of men clearing the street for the "Beale Street Jumpers", who proceed to do an impressive routine of acrobatics down the street with amazing precision. Maybe you stop into to the legendary blues club BB Kings to dance to the kick ass cover band, enjoy the delicious house draft, and taste the best fall off the bone ribs you will ever eat.

Sound good?

DAMN RIGHT!!!

This was only the beginning of my night. After BB Kings, we went into  a place called Wet Willies to try their famous (read: strong) daquiris, and jello shots. The band there was a little more chill, but no less inspiring and toe tapping. Leaving this bar, we came across a street performer named Richard Johnston, who was playing guitar, a drum set, AND singing his own brand of the blues. He had gathered a HUGE crowd and even had his own roadie, who felt in necessary to drag me out in from to dance for a bit, but his horrible B.O. caused me to sneak away and in doing so was accosted by a man eager to buy me a drink, not because he was hitting on me, but out of appreciation for my appreciation for the music. This southern hospitality has been consistent all throughout the week, and it's just wonderful. And frankly, rather surprising.

I'd snuck a peek into Coyote Ugly as we walked by and was curious to see if it stood up to the way it was portrayed in the movie, so we ducked in for a bit. The girls were indeed on the bar doing their thing, they had a few dance numbers which were fun, but I'm sorry, they were no Tyra Banks. As I was ordering a beer at the bar, I found myself being pulled up and suddenly I was strutting down the bar dancing with a girl as she told me my boobs were "totally awesome".  Though I was slightly concerned that they were going to make me add my bra to the collection hanging on the wall (a risk that I took according to the sign on the wall, just by entering the bar) I went with it and had a blast. Even when I got down at the end of the song, another girl dragged me back up and also insisted on expressing her admiration for my boobs, while dancing all up and down the bar. Eventually, I was helped down and exited into the night, totally jazzed at my new found title as a Coyote. We checked out a few more bands along the way, finally decided to call it a night, and made our way back to the hotel, both of us totally wound up and buzzing from this exciting event. I have ever intention of going back as much as I can while I am here, it is truly one of the best places I have ever been.

If you like beer, BBQ, seafood, music, dancing and just general fun and games. THIS IS A MUST SEE!