I have heard many of your stories about how ya'll spent your Halloween, and they have ranged from a Big Lebowski party, taking drunk girls home, passing around bottles of Jag, house parties with friends and bar hopping through uptown. But I can guarantee that my experience here in Tupelo Mississippi is completely different. I have been asked several times if I enjoyed myself, had fun, etc, etc, and I still struggle with my answer. Allow me to present the evidence.
Not wanting to be stuck in a hotel room, drinking beer and watching cable, while the rest of the fun loving world is out getting crazy on Halloween, I purchased a Wal Mart costume (yes, I am a but ashamed) and dragged Steve out to the nearest bar I could find which boasted a costume party, and rock and roll music. Arriving at Fusion 205, making our way past the linen napkins and wine glasses in the dining room, we found the patio outside, which was decked out in Jag gear, orange lights and your typical "scary" decorations. The guests consisted mainly of the following:
- Insane Clown Posse
- Devils
- Hookers
- St Pauli Girls
- Cops
- anything army
- Convicts (all wearing real uniforms from when they did time. Well, except for me)
- Anything goth
- Jolly Green Giant
- Fear and Loathing (super awesome BTW)
- There was one scrawny guy dressed as "the gimp" being dragged around on a chain
So. Finding a table, getting beer, waiting for the music to start, I start to get comments on my costume, " Hey that was my number when I was locked up too." AND THEY ARE TOTALLY SERIOUS. Yeah. So then the so called rock and roll music starts, and hey, it's metal. Hardcore metal. So more beers are needed, as are shots, (making friends with the bartender got me free whiskey, damn I am good.) By this point my friend Steve is quite drunk, and determined to make friends with people, but no one seems to be having it. Even when he starts just yelling after people to get their attention, at which point, I decide that I really do not want to let him piss off he wrong army dude who only has 5 teeth, but a mean right hook. So I bit the bullet and decided to use my Neil Patrick Harris card. Now, for those of you who don't watch How I Met You Mother, NPH's character plays this fun game in bars with his friend Ted. It's called, "Have you met Ted?", at which time, Ted is introduced to whichever lucky lady has been approached. So, I chose to play my personal variation, " Have ya'll met Steve?". I made my way through the entire patio, and then in through the bar introducing Steve to EVERY person I could possibly find, and in the process, I also got to meet EVERY person. After about 60 people, we met Nicki. Nicki was a very sweet very drunk girl who was trying to find someone to buy her a beer, because her boyfriend (who ended up being before mentioned "gimp", and the drummer of the band "dead set") was broke. I learned that she had only recently been released from prison in April, and was now making her living as a stripper. She decided that we were now to be best buds, and asked for my phone number and how I had such great boobs. Sigh. After attempting to use my game to get Nicky a beer, I gave up and gave her one of mine, since there seemed to be an endless supply being bought for me by Steve, a very drunk Steve. After this, there was more meeting people, more stories of prison release, and I met Dot, and adorable Jack Russel Terrier. It was at this point I realized that I had eaten next to nothing all day but cold meds. So Steve and I, after promising our 150 new friends we would be back, made a run to Wendy's, which made me realize, um, I don't want to be driving right now. The night would end with a beer run to the store, after warding off the advances of a very persistent Sergeant at the bar who wanted to have a "night cap" at his buddy Chuck's place across the street.
Perhaps my favorite part of this crazy night, was waking up this morning and listening to all the drunken voice mails, and ready all the text messages I collected while out and about. But I must say, at what other juncture would I be able to boast of a night with 3 convicts, 2 metal band, a stripper, and 150 new friends? Even the CC Club can't offer that, now can it.
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