Instead of fighting this insomnia that has overtaken me, I have embraced it, and am not discriminating between 3pm and 3am. Rather, I choose to enjoy a tasty beverage and Flight of the Conchords. Still brilliant after all this time. The question remains though, will the second season live up to the genius that was the premiere season? (By the way, what the hell is Lisa doing during "A Kiss is Not a Contract"? Is she stoned?) AND, side note, the actress who played Felicia is in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall". Which was a lovely movie FYI.
I am taking a lesson in simplification. Though I recognize that when I am in a frenzy of activity, from rehearsals, social engagements and various projects, I gain a momentum that lends more to my mental health than I would like to admit, other more pressing obligations have come to the front lines, demanding my attention and energy. There is a jealousy present to be sure, when seeing others close to me living the life I had become so dependents on, yet an odd satisfaction knowing that I am growing and moving forward. Accepting a responsibility I have to myself is horribly grown-up and I guess there is something to be said for that, but that does not make it any less overwhelming and scary. I have discovered a clarity over the last few months that seemed out of reach for a very long time, and with that clarity comes the need to destroy the walls I had reinforced with such intensity and care. Both excitement and terror accompany each waking moment, but the awareness of change promotes the optimism necessary to maintain my nerve.
Though I miss having Josh here, there is something to be said for having an empty apartment to myself again. As I begin my work on "Cute Girl", the privacy I have available to me is greatly appreciated. I look forward to pushing myself to the limit for a piece that will surly test my boundaries, while also allowing the terror of the intimacy this requires to keep me on the edge of raw creation.
Let me offer this question up for those of you still reading. Is New Years Eve not a "couples holiday" for the most part? I'm trying to settle an argument. With myself.
Nice post Lace...that's what life's journey entails, a constant adjusting and readjusting to the currents that you find yourself drifting along on. There is purpose in it...always purpose. :) Love ya! P.S. totally feel you on the N.Y.E. dilemma. Couples much!?!!
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